I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
