she woke up with a sticky ear
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
