JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
