If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
