So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
