youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
