I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
should my penis look like a turkey
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
