She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
