...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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