I accidentally had phone sex last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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