carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
God, I missed his penis.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
