i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i barfeds in our rink
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
