im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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