Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
