i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize