I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
