My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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