is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
