one two three fourrrrnication!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
