He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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