I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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