I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
