yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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