Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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