Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
