I accidentally burped into my bong.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is wine microwaveable?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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