i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
