im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
