@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
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