i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
