I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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