Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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