So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
