No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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