He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize