I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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