My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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