meet me or not, i'm out of control
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
