He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
