In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
