I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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