He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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