i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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