Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
