I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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