I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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