Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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