dude i'm inner monologue high
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
