White coat. Heels.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
