my vag is so smooth its legendary
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
