this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I see more hoeing in ur future
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