ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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