do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
