Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
