Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
