I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
