You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
