I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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