Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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