Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
