I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
