what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he shaved USA in his pubs
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
